Too Effin Funny

I know this is inappropiate but it just was too funny not to share how the last tag line really brings it together.

With all due respect

McCarter's Bridge Rumson-Fair Haven, NJ

McCarter's Bridge over Ridge Road near the Fair Haven / Rumson, NJ town line. Taken September 25, 1988.

Some of you may already be visually familiar with McCarter's Bridge from my post anticipating the Watchmen Movie. Well here is a little background about the bridge 2 years later.

I probably should learn more about the history certainly since this is part of my future profession, but here is what I can tell you piecing together what I remember. Sometime around the turn of the 20th century, McCarter built a massive estate near the border of Rumson-Fair Haven. Since the estate spanned Ridge Road (a major East-West road from Red Bank to the Sea Bright Bridge) he constructed a private bridge to go over the road for his use. That is how it was used while the estate functioned. In the late 1950s-early 60s the grand estate was demolished and the land was divided up into building lots, the bridge no longer safe for modern traffic was just abandoned in place. As more families began to fill the area, the radical teenage voices of the later 1960s found a new venue for their messages. Since no one actually owned the bridge it was allowed to continue, it certainly wasn't without its obstacles the police would watch out for you and most of the time scare you off, and there was that information (that I learned much later) that poison ivy and rose bushes were intentionally planted to deter people from painting the bridge. In spite of this, the graffiti covered facade became a rite of passage for the local high school kids. Although Rumson-Fair Haven High School claimed it as their own, students from the rival high school down Ridge Road also were known to paint it.

When I was a sophomore it was time to pass my rites. It would have never happened without the two people pictured with me. Adriane who lived within 2 blocks of the bridge made it so we could easily stage our adventure from her yard without immediately sending up red flags by parking on the street. Stefan was the major reason it happened at all. He was slightly older than Adriane and myself so he had his driver's license. This was an important factor for us to be able to go get the paint from a few towns over, as well as getting us to Adriane's house for our adventures. Stephan and I decided on the colors we would use black and gold. The black was a way to quickly cover all that we could in one coat to make it easy to paint over. Gold was chosen so the message could be read easily. In our excitement I picked up the wrong can and brown and gold then became our signature colors for the 4 opportunities we had before the bridge was torn down. (Except for that time I picked up an ivory can instead of gold.)

My first message has something to do with POW/MIAs. Kind of an odd message for a high school kid, but it was something that I was very interested in because I knew someone who's brother was still MIA in Vietnam. (The war only “ended” 12 years earlier so it was still pretty fresh in people's minds.) I did one for my parent's anniversary and my brother's graduation. I know there was one for the Watchmen, and lastly “Go Home Bridge Killers.” That was the last message on the bridge when the wrecking ball came to demolish it September 27, 1988.

Over a year ago I posted the picture at the top into my facebook “Lost & Found: pictures from the age of film cameras” album. Immediately there was a conversation between myself and my other two friends who were standing with me. It recently began to get more comments again so that is why it is on my mind, and I need a place to post a larger picture so that maybe some one can clearly identify the kid in the teal All-Stars.

Dances with Blue Man Group

This is my facebook status. Click the picture to make it larger to see what it says.



After a couple of people liked it, I began thinking about those Bud Light radio commercials “Real Men of Genius”. It never dawned on my that the language for them had changed I always hear them in my head as “Real American Heroes” which I think is much better in this case because I don't really know that the merchandiser was a man.

If you are not familiar with the commercials follow the link above and listen to a couple of them to get the feel of this to music. Then read along my tribute to my hero of the week.

Target presents Real American Heroes
(Real American Heroes)
Today we salute you...
DVD aisle merchandiser
(DVD aisle merchandiser)

Some say you're a cog
Some say you're only worth $7.50 an hour
And some say why couldn't you find a better job
(I have a problem with authority)

What you do is a service
You are a maestro of the endcap, and a wiz at categorizing
(SAW is not self-improvement)

Red Shirt - check
Tan pants - check
Having the ability to offer a silent commentary on an overrated crappy movie- check
(Sticking it to the man)

So crack open a new case of movies oh critic of the cinema
Because even though you're last on the departmental flow chart, you'll always be #1 with me
(DVD aisle merchandiser)

Foam Fingers only get you to third base.

This Fall Richmond, VA announced a replacement for their Minor League Baseball team that pulled out in 2008, because they wanted a new stadium that the city wouldn't commit to. The replacements announced in late October are called “Flying Squirrels”. Not really the image of a dominate force to be messed with unless they happen to be rabid squirrels.

One of the alternative logos for the team is a giant acorn with a big “R” reminiscent of the letter used by Batman's sidekick. Recently I have enjoyed debating a possible battle cry with anyone who will listen, they mostly end with something about how big their nuts are. Also don't forget the trademarked concession item a cup filled with hot nuts.

I went looking at other Minor League Teams just to see what a Flying Squirrel might have the possibility to dominate. I however, stopped looking when I came across the Winston-Salem “Dash”. From the look of their logo it appears one has found the Alpha Male of all sports logo, and the only thing that beats that is themselves.

Mortgage: The Musical

This was a comment my wife made about my Facebook status update. It really is exceptionally good so I thought I would preserve it for the ages.

I don't know why, but Rent seems to have polarizing opinions. Either you really like it or you really hate it. I however fall into the third category, I find the music a little bit catchy and don't mind it, it's no "Fiddler", but I can accept it for what it is. This might be because I am a sucker for the great story ballads of the 70s like Harry Chapin's "Taxi", Gordon Lightfoot's "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", Don McLean's "American Pie", and a slightly earlier vintage "Alice's Restaurant Massacree" by Arlo Guthrie.

My thoughts today are what about making another musical based on the premise of Rent, where those 20-somethings with the world at their backs, get sucked up with the economic boom of the late 1990s and become the 30-somethings dealing with the setbacks of Bush's America on the cusp of economic collapse. I still have some of the musical lyrics to work out, but I am happy to have such a wonderful collaborator at my side.

Domo arigato, mr. roboto

Just some Facebook junk that I found amusing.

Get Your Cyborg Name

My Uncle John

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

The radio station that he loved so

Great Phallacies of the World

I was going through some pictures today and found a recurring theme.


It's just not their pickles that are famous! (Yes this is a real product.)


Found acorn top.


Another bad sign design and placement. (see here for another example)


I just need to file this one under juvenile humor.

Zorya: and sex was dirty

This has been going around facebook. Although I typically don't participate in this kind of thing this one seemed like a fun & creative one. I decided to post it here rather than perpetuate another facebook plague.



1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random... Read More”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.


*** These are the links to my three
ZORYA
and sex was dirty
Photo Credit

We cleanse souls... only 80 cents a pound!

For a little local history, the place where I live has a population of about 33,000 people and covers about 23 square miles. It has been estimated that within the city limits there are approximately 250 churches. Most (maybe 80%) of these churches are not your typical churches, they can only be described as storefront churches or maybe go so far as to say tax-shelter churches. No wonder the republicans like religion so much.

I have been working on this photo project in my spare time which has allowed me to to get around the city and see all it has to offer. This is one gem I recently found.



Take that late night infomercials, only the power of Jesus can get out stubborn stains. Want to know what hell feels like? Just go next door in the middle of summer when all the dryers are going.

I however need to question a "church" that uses the flaming sword as an image of deliverance, since biblically the flaming sword represents humanity's inability to go back to Paradise (Genesis 3:24). What exactly is one being delivered to here the locked front gate? Isn't the reason for going to church in the first place so that one can get back into Paradise (heaven)?

Next up "Pillar of Salt Church of Deliverance" coming soon to an insurance agency near you.

I will now deliver you from further religion.

Paypal says: Save (*cough*us money) the environment.

Wow it took a whole sheet of paper to give me this message.

Change needs to come from the inside.
Maybe printing this message on the envelope?
Forcing printers to print duel side?




Close up of message

Now on my soapbox:
Give me a reason to switch, how about paperless people get a reduced interest rate? I am all for saving the environment, but if I want a hard copy of a statement the burden is placed on me. My ink, my paper, my time. I am now doing a job that you are charging me an outrageous interest rate to help cover. Also you need to make my whole history of statements available not just the last 8 or 12. A policy change is also in order about not charging me an outrageous amount to have a replacement statement sent when I do need an older one?

You want us to make a difference in the environment, be a leader and give us the tools and incentives we need to change.

W W T W?

When The Watchmen comic was released back in 1986-87 I immediately was hooked. I absolutely went crazy over it. I have the pin, the watch, the t-shirt, the original hardbound leather edition. From 87-90 The Watchmen influenced my creativity in my art. Somewhere out there there is a video produced by the Presbyterian Church in 1989 dealing with faith that I am in. In it I am wearing my Watchman shirt. I went so far as to use a line from The Comedian as my Senior yearbook quote (although, if I remember correctly they messed up the layout).

The Watchmen and myself became one in the summer of 1991 with my first tattoo

August 2008 badly faded


___________
Original Watchmen_____ Presbyterian Church (USA) logo
promo button 1987_______ (so you don't need to ask)
(Still Own)

The Watchmen, after all these years is coming to the big screen. I think in a box of books from college I have a copy of a 1990 version of the screen play. I am not yet sure how I feel about something I hold so dear being remade by Hollywood. You see Hollywood and I have a "Hate/Hate" relationship when it comes to comic movies. My biggest gripe you can't rewrite 25 years of history to make an exciting 2 hours. I guess this is something at least the Watchmen have going for it. It may be easier to stay true to this story since it has a beginning and an end in 12 issues. My next concern is that this movie is so popular Holywood will try to make a prequel.

I am hoping for some really good merchandise rising from this.




Yearbook Picture
The Bridge on Ridge Road
List of Watchmen related pictures I need to find:
Name of that video
Art 87-90
Jean Jacket

Shiver me Timbers!

My pirate name is:

Black Flint the Lover

Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.

New Olympic event for 2012

Beijing, China August 20, 2008-

With overwhelming support from fans across the globe, the International Olympic Committee has voted today to allow a new exhibition sport to the 2012 Summer Games in London.

Spokesperson for the IOC said, "We are really excited about this new competition. Our synchronized sports have become very popular and we look forward to expanding this genre. Athletes will be judged on criteria such as distance and style. We already have plans for different classes which include water, tobacco, and the ever popular watermelon seeds, to name just a few."

The US Olympic Committee commented that they have already been in contact with players from Major League Baseball and old tyme saloon patrons as potential members for their 2012 team.

Photo Credit
"The Bluto" inspired by National Lampoon's Animal House

The innocence of 1960

Next in the series-
"Junior Science Book of
Cougars"

Insert jokes here_______

Nuff said.

Now get back to work.

My POD is packed I'm ready to go...

Boy the way Law and Order played
Seems like it was 24 hours a day.
Kids like us hardly got paid,
Those were the dregs.

Back when real bagels were our food.
The ones down here they taste like glue.
Don't know how we got through,
`cause on car insurance we got screwed.

Mitzvah was our first pup,
We watched the Trade Centers blow up.
Now its time to shut up.
Cause those were the dregs.

Goodbye
Hamilton, NJ
1997-2008

Goodbye: 40 Foot Ladder and a POD

The last photos from our home in New Jersey.

What the Heck? Hey look its a skull!

Left a little bit of us behind.
Hey look another skull!

Seems a little young to have a monkey on his back?

Every once in a while you need to just thank the stars you have your camera with you, because a description doesn't do the image justice.


Don't worry kid many years of future therapy will help you come to terms with your separation anxiety.

Stay on Target- Stay on Target-

Mother Nature was right on TARGET as a tornado passed trough Colonial Heights, VA today.

See what happens when you use a bulls eye as your logo? It just invites trouble.

The only business that were damaged so badly by the tornado that they needed to close are the two who's signs were not damaged.
OH THE HUMANITY! What if my barn needs to go to a wedding? Where can I go to ride the Tilt-A-Sneaker now?


Other business in the vicinity were also slightly damaged by the tornado, except for Wal-Mart. Which just proves the theory that Jesus Saves... everyday at Wal-Mart.